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Post by ron on Aug 12, 2011 15:48:39 GMT -5
Dear You,
Congratulations, you have stumbled upon a letter from me. Who am I? Funny you should ask. Funnier if you think you're getting an answer because I assure you, you are not. I am very mysterious. So why am I writing to you? Well, everyone keeps talking about these letters being sent about the castle to strangers, and I have yet to see how they work, so here goes! I've sent my owl, who's a bit daft. I told him don't leave the castle, just drop it off with the first non-evil person he finds. If you're evil, please stop reading now. If you're outside the castle, sorry. My owl really is pathetic.
Anyway, I'm looking for someone to talk to because Her my friends are off doing homework and I did mine already. No I didn't, but you're a stranger, so I don't mind lying to you. You might want to send back a different bird though because one flight around the castle could probably kill my owl. Do you have a worthless pet?
- Mysterious Stranger
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 12, 2011 16:08:33 GMT -5
RONALD WEASLEY.
You better be doing your homework! Need I remind you that your education is important for your success at Hogwarts, and that if you do not finish your homework, I am not helping you finish it! Do you understand? And do not try and fool me with the lying that you are not Ron Weasley, because I know your handwriting from over five years of reading it while finishing your work for you! I suggest you get back to your work before I come find you and make you do your work! You do know how important your homework is to passing your exams at end of year. And this owl seems to love getting caught in my hair. It's painful.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 12, 2011 19:59:30 GMT -5
Dear Hermione,
Did I spell that name correctly? Quite a tricky one, I must say. Sorry, I'm not Ron. My name is Albert. This Ron fellow seems quite dashing though.
Only kidding, I am Ron. If I didn't use Pig, you never would have known it was me. Bloody bird is always giving me away. Funny he went to you thought. I suppose he thinks you're not evil. That makes two pets that think you're safe: Crookshanks and Pig. Quite the compliment, I think.
Shouldn't you be doing homework? Really, Hermione, you're setting a bad example if instead of doing your homework, you're writing letters to people. I'm supposed to look up to you. Well, not really. I'm a lot taller than you. But when it comes to homework, I should look up to you, and here you are, letting me down. Quite a shame really. No wonder I can't do my homework if you're not doing yours.
- Albert AKA Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 12, 2011 20:55:50 GMT -5
Ronald,
I am not that daft, need I remind you. Again, your handwriting was a giveaway, as well as the fact that you mentioned you were not doing homework. Plus, the owl was the third clue. As I shall mention a second time, I am not that daft. Albert? Are you seriously trying to pass yourself off as another person? Are you that bored? Try homework. You need not be lecturing me on doing my work, because all of mine is finished and has been for a while. I was doing the extra credit work (which it wouldn't kill you to do either) for History of Magic, and your owl got caught in my hair. You will be paying dearly for the pain he caused me! It didn't hurt that bad, I mean, tears aren't that bad once in a while. I've done nothing to upset your homework, in fact, this letter is proof that i'm encouraging you to do your work, which I have been doing endlessly for the past five years. Please do your work, wouldn't want you to fail and not be able to play Quidditch.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger
p.s. Are you in need of assistance for any of your work? I'm not saying i'm going to help, i'm just curious.. |
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Post by ron on Aug 13, 2011 0:03:24 GMT -5
Hermione,
Yes, yes, you are too smart for my tricks. You couldn't even play along a little? You know, I bet half of the school is skiving homework. It's not just me. You're probably the only person who did your homework. In fact, if you didn't tell me, I would have known it was you if you said you did your homework.
I'm not bored enough to do homework, so don't worry about that. There's extra credit in class? I could use some of that. Sorry about your hair. Pig doesn't really understand. Just ruffle some of his feathers. Make him have to suffer through what you were through. Did you really cry?
You would never let me fail. But uh, yeah, speaking of failing, I could use some assistance with some of my work. Want to meet me so I can copy your essays we can talk about it?
- Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 13, 2011 6:16:50 GMT -5
Ronald,
Well, i'm not going lie about who I am. I'm just thankful it was you, and not a Slytherin. This letter would not have ended well if this had been a Slytherin. Yes, Professor Binns handed it out while you were sleeping, I think. It's amazing how you can fall asleep right during class. I could never do that! My hair is fine, and I most certainly am not going to hurt your poor owl. He is small and fragile and you know I would never bring harm to a creature! One of these days I might just let you learn a lesson about not doing your work. I guess I can come by and help you with your work. Where are you right now? I'm not running around Hogwarts to find you again.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 13, 2011 11:08:08 GMT -5
Hermione,
That's not fair of him to hand out assignments when the class is sleeping. I know I wasn't the only one. Dean was asleep longer than I was. Binns is just doing it to punish us. Lucky I have you around to tell me about the things I miss. Ruffling Pig's feathers won't hurt him. I do it to him when he bites or claws me. It's like training a dog. They have to learn.
Where do you think I am? If you know me so well to know my owl and my lack of study habits and my handwriting, you must have some clue where I am. If not, you can check your crystal ball to find me. Oh wait, no, you dropped that class. You never learned how to block out the outer physical world and search deep within yourself to find the one you seek or some such nonsense.
- Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 13, 2011 20:57:25 GMT -5
Ronald,
You're lucky to have me as a best friend, Ronald, because I wrote down an extra copy of what we covered in the lesson and along with helpful points for the extra credit, as well as taking an extra copy of the assignment, so that you do not fall behind and can get the extra credit up. He would not have to punish you all if you all did not fall asleep during class, Ronald. Honestly, would it hurt you to stay awake for one History of Magic lesson? the information we cover is so fascinating, and we learn so much about the wizards and magic before our time. Do you not find that the least bit interesting? I certainly do.
Ronald Weasley, if you would like my help in finding you to give you the resources you need to finish your work, it is your duty to tell me where you are. And if you say Quidditch Pitch, I will be there in two seconds, wand in hand, ready to hex you into the next century! Do not even think of bringing up that old bat Trelawney and her awful methods of teaching Divination, which by the way, is the only class i'd allow you to sleep through. She is absolutely mad and you and Harry get away with her class by always repeating that you "see" death! I do not understand how she has not found out and reprimanded you both. You best hope Umbridge does not catch wind of all of your work done and what you've "seen", or she may reprimand you yourself. I can only save you from so much.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 13, 2011 21:23:03 GMT -5
Hermione,
You are absolutely brilliant. I know that I'm lucky to have you as a best friend. I tell random strangers every day. I say, 'Hey, have you met Hermione Granger? Well she's my best friend and if it wasn't for her, I'd be a mess. It's true. I couldn't even knock out a troll until she showed me how to do it from underneath a sink. She's saved my arse neck more times than I can say. You should go meet her.' Except by that point, they've tried to commit me to St. Mungos for a Babbling Charm gone wrong.
Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. If I were at the Quidditch pitch, I would not be writing letters. You best get your Inner Eye checked. That's the last one. Please still help me with my assignments! I just mentioned how great you are. Don't forget that. But come on, do you really want to work on our assignments now? We have plenty of time for that. When's the last time we've owled back and forth? Not since summer and we don't talk much then because I don't want to scare your neighbours with Pig. Would you try to save me from Umbridge?
- Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 13, 2011 21:41:47 GMT -5
Ronald,
I know i'm brilliant. a skilled witch with plenty of knowledge to share. I do hope you are not doing that. I do not want you locked into a ward of St. Mungo's being assessed. Or worse, I don't want you ending up in Azkaban for your lunacy. I'd rather you not go to prison for me. But, it is flattering that you'd think to mention me, even if it is to a person you and I have never met.
You could be sitting in the back room where the players meet before games (do excuse me for not knowing the name of the place), or even in the audience stands. Well, i'd prefer you to get your homework done now rather than in the middle of the night, the night before it is due. But I suppose, since I can not find you at the moment, that we could put it off for at most an hour, no longer. I have a letter to send off tonight to my parents. We don't usually owl back and forth because we're usually together, in the same room. Of course you would never even dare to enter the Library for once in your life, so this will have to do until we meet up to do homework. We better be meeting up for homework, Ronald. You are not ditching me! Well of course i'd try and save you from Umbridge. I'm going to let you get hurt by her hand.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 14, 2011 21:05:00 GMT -5
Hermione,
You don't tell people about your dashing red-headed friend? That's hurtful, Hermione. You should really be telling everyone about me especially cute birds you run across. It's just what good friends should do. If you started doing it and it became a normal thing, no one would try to commit me anywhere.
One day, when I'm caught up on homework, I'm taking you with me to the Quidditch pitch. I will show you around (even the locker rooms!) and then we're going for a ride. Don't worry. I'll keep you perfectly safe. You won't even have to ride alone. An hour is all I'm asking. It's not such a crime to want to enjoy yourself. It's healthy. If I have an hour to have fun, then I will be completely focused to finish my homework. If I tried to start it now, I wouldn't be able to focus and I'd just be wasting your time. Really, this free time is for you. I've been to the library! True, it's almost always with you, but I've been there. I promise I will not ditch you. When have I ever ditched you? You're the girl who would save me from Umbridge. I'm not going to make you mad at me.
- Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 15, 2011 2:07:30 GMT -5
Ronald,
Of course i've told people about you, you're my best friend. I don't refer to you as my dashing red-headed friend; my vocabulary varies a bit from that, but don't worry, it's all complimentary. You want me to tell my girl friends about you? Are you trying to get me to set you up with a girl? Not impressed.
You know I don't like flying. In fact, I despise it entirely, unless it's an emergency. I'll tour the Pitch with you, but getting on a broom, no thank you. I am absolutely against flying high in the air, it's not something that I do. It's what you do brilliantly. Not me, just you and Harry. I enjoy having fun. In fact, I read a great book the other day, it was fantastic. I enjoyed that, and it was healthy. My mind gained more knowledge from it. I am spending my free time here in the Library, reading a new book on magical creatures of the world. You should read it some time, it's really great. Let's not bring up the times you have ditched me. We don't want to start arguing now, do we? Ha! I'm sure you can do fine against Umbridge, you're a great duelist.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 15, 2011 8:39:44 GMT -5
Hermione,
Relax, I'm only joking. Your girl friends already know about me. You should be talking about me to strangers. Hasn't your mother ever told you that?
Brilliantly, huh? C'mon, Mione. You've never gone flying with me. All you would have to do is hold on. I won't let anything happen to you. It might help you get over your fear even. How about this? If you fly with me, I'll read that book of yours. Then we'll both be trying something we're afraid of: you with flying, me with reading for fun. Sounds tempting, doesn't it?
- Ron
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Post by HERMIONE GRANGER on Aug 15, 2011 9:03:33 GMT -5
Ronald,
My mother tells me to keep things secret, because unlike most others, I come from a Muggle family, where we keep knowledge of our friendships to our family and friends. If I told any of my Muggle friends, they would probably want to know more about you, and explaining that you're a wizard to them would probably make them put me in a Muggle hospital for assessment.
You would seriously read a book just to get me flying? Well, that's a technique I will use more often. You do know how much I dislike flying, right? You better be ready for my refusal once I get out on the Quidditch Pitch because I absolutely dislike flying. It's not something i'm meant to do. But, if you absolutely insist on it and promise to read the book cover to cover, I will go flying with you. Again, I will hesitate for as long as I can.
Sincerely,
Hermione Granger |
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Post by ron on Aug 15, 2011 20:42:11 GMT -5
Hermione,
How come you've never let me meet your muggle friends? I've never thought about it, but you always come visit me. Could I come visit you this summer? I'll pretend to be a muggle and everything. Only, my dad might get jealous. Where do your muggle friends think you are now? Harry told me that his neighbours think he's at a correctional school. I doubt your friends would believe that, you're too good.
If you abuse it, I'll have to abuse it. I'll say I'll read a book for you if you... Fill in the sentence. Like I'll read a book if you write one of my Potions essays or I'll read a book if you pick on a first year. Would you honestly back out on a promise? What if I read the book and then you chickened out on me? I'd be heart-broken and I would have to call you out on not living up to your Gryffindor personality. C'mon, Hermione, you can protest all you want, but I know that you would fly with me. You'd also love it.
- Ron
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